Ever found yourself thinking… why did I do that?!! Or wanting to say something but you didn’t?
I certainly have and I had two clients in recent days who also did just that and found themselves out of integrity. Both were in a situation with people where they wanted to express what they were feeling but didn’t.
So what is going on internally here? Both hesitated to express their feelings because what they wanted to say would have challenged the other person. They decided to be ‘nice’ at the expense of being authentic.
We often find ourselves in these situations – we step over something, we let something go thinking that is the best option….the belief is that being ‘nice’ to someone is better than potentially upsetting someone.
What’s really happening is that subconsciously, we are trying to get our emotional needs met. In this type of situation, that might be a need for approval or a need to be liked and in that moment we do get a short shot of whatever it is we’re seeking from the other person.
However, it’s only a temporary shot and there is a substantial price to pay. Because, if we don’t express ourselves, we are not honouring ourselves and that doesn’t feel good. Depending on the gravity of the situation, it may bother us for hours, maybe days after – probably running the situation around in our head a few times with what we wish to have happened.
The key to accessing your internal power is…
Don’t be nice be real!
…because self-belief comes from expressing your values: what is important to you. Even more so when the risk of opposition from the other person is higher. The truth is, that people respect strength and often take advantage of weakness.
If any of this is resonating for you then you might like to consider my upcoming Internal Power teleclass on how to identify your emotional needs and how to switch from the treadmill of temporary external satisfaction to powering up permanent satisfaction from the inside.
Check out the ‘Rates and Services’ page for more details….
Leave a Reply